Hello, today we will be writing a little about loss, we have all experienced some sort of loss in our lives, it's a huge part of the human experience after all, and we completely understand and know that when in that moment of grief, it is so hard to mentally get yourself out of it.
So, this is for you, we really hope some of the things we write will help you in your journey and please always remember; when there are lows, there will be highs! This feeling won’t last forever, it will get better, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.
Any loss you may have been through can set off a whole range of emotional responses in you, it could show unexpectedly and in various forms, it could be that you have lost someone, or lost yourself, a breakup, or even old trauma resurfacing etc.. but grief is grief, no matter how big or how small it is, just know that your feelings are valid, and you are allowed to feel the way that you feel. Remember grief takes time and it isn’t an easy process to go through.
I just want to start by saying that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, what makes this world a beautiful place is that we are all different and unique and we all deal with our emotions differently, but we really hope that some of this will help you on your journey and
help you heal.
Observe how you feel
One of the most common symptoms and one I experienced when processing my own grief, was avoiding my feelings. I would push them away and just focus on the day ahead of me. I also ate everything and found myself looking for a crutch. Do you find yourself relying on
something to numb the pain? Maybe shopping, food, alcohol? Obviously, this is all avoidance, and we all know this is not a healthy response and those feelings will pop back up when you least expect them too, it’s a temporary fix to mask the pain you’re feeling.
Observing your feelings can be a tough task, but there are many ways you can do this;
So, instead of just masking the pain, try to bring awareness to your feelings and really try to stay present with whatever emotions bubble up, journalling these feelings is a great idea, reflecting on what happened and how it has changed your life. Journalling will help you
release bottled up feelings and help you begin that healing process, when going through loss or grief, just write for a few minutes a day to help you document how you’re feeling.
Another simple but really great way to help you on your healing is to cry, let it out! Do it as much as you need to, tears are such a healthy, emotional release and it really will make you feel better. We know it can be tough to find a safe time to cry in amongst daily life, so even if
you wait until you feel comfortable to let it all out and watch a film, listen to music, just give yourself that release.
Talking about your feelings with other people, especially someone you are comfortable with, finding that comfort in someone else can-do miracles for your soul. Sometimes you don’t know truly how you are feeling or what is laying under the surface until you let it out. On the
other hand, if you don’t feel you want to talk to someone close to you, seeking out a form of therapy is a fantastic way to discuss with a completely impartial, unbiased professional, whose role is to guide you, and listen to you, without judgement.
Ask for help
Reach out, asking for help doesn’t mean you’re weak, quite the opposite actually. Grieving is a complicated process and if your not feeling yourself, simple tasks like doing the food shop or cooking etc.. end up feeling like a big task, so don’t be afraid to ask for help when you
need to and its completely fine if you’re not feeling up to it, give yourself time.
Remember to Eat regularly and drink water
Eating small, regular meals will help you stop lashing out at the ones you love, by keeping your blood sugar levels in check, resulting in you not feeling guilty on top of everything else. Also don’t forget to keep hydrated! A dehydrated body will add to your emotional exhaustion,
so get drinking! Try to aim for around 8 glasses/2L a day.
Get your body moving!
Exercise releases endorphins (the feel good hormones!) so try and prioritise some form of exercise in your daily routine, it doesn’t have to be anything crazy, maybe just stretching or going for a 30 minute walk and getting fresh air. I promise this will lift your spirits, and try
finding something that you actually enjoy doing, you never know it could turn into a hobby and then you have something to look forward to.
Deep breathing has made such a huge impact in my life, it really is amazing how just taking a few deep breaths can keep you present and in the moment. The body gets what it needs from the bottom of our lungs and when we are feeling stressed and tense, this can cause our
breathing to become shallow. Not getting enough oxygen will stress the body, which is just adding to the stress that you’re currently feeling. So take some much need conscious deep breathes to help you chill out, relax and to give your body the oxygen it needs to function
Yes, we go on and on about meditation at The Spiritual Mamas but that’s because they work for everyone, you just have the find the one you connect with!! Meditation will bring you back to your calm centre and will help you restore a sense of calmness and stability into your life, so try it. Not only will it relax you, but it will help you bring awareness to your feelings and understand why you feel this way.
Even when times feel so tough, remember there is always something to be grateful for, what in your life today makes you feel thankful?
Blessings can come in many ways and are often found in the small little every day things, like that cup of coffee, breathing in the fresh air, the smile of your partner, child, pet etc. you just have to look. You can start as a simple as adding 1, 3 or 5 things on your phone notes, or
even start with a gratitude journal to help you document how thankful you are. Gratitude will heal you in a very profound way.
Go in your own time
Even though we all wished it would, grief does not have any kind of schedule, do what you need to do and at your own pace in order for you to heal. You are doing the best you can and you can’t do better than your best. So please, go easy on yourself and let these feeling
unfold and like I said there is a light at the end of the tunnel and no matter how difficult it seems right now, healing will come.
Try to focus on the little things and the big changes will most definitely come in time.
Just remember your recovery is unique to you and there will be some days where you feel completely fine and then other days where you feel like life is too much. Sometimes your grief may feel like a full time job and will need all your attention and care and others it will feel
like a distant thought but be open with yourself, be kind to yourself and be patient with yourself, be open to wherever the grief takes you and know that there is no right or wrong way.
We are sending you so much love and if you ever feel like you need someone to
talk to, our inbox is always open, so please don’t hesitate to contact us on our Instagram @thespiritualmamas our email email@example.com or through our website.
Love & Light
The Spiritual Mamas x